0 comments Love; The Views of

Love cannot be defined. You may ask yourself, “How can we talk about something that can't be defined?” The answer is that there are so many different ways to define and describe love that there is no one definite way of saying what is right, wrong or bizarre in love. Everyone has different views and opinions on what love is and what it involves. It could possibly be seen as heinous to try and attach a single sentence to what love is. Love, the feeling not some biological mumbo jumbo, is purely opinionated.

The most noticeable traits about humanity is that we have wars, violence and death that are now generally thrown with full force at us from the media. However, there is also love and acceptance that all humans seem to strive for. We have songs and shows and movies and novels dedicated purely to love and sex.

Some people even put more faith in love than faith in any higher power. My only guess at why this could be is that it's the hope that one day said person could fully connect and know another living being. Many of us have probably experience love in one way or another – love for a family member or friend, a pet, a childish crush.

Some may argue that it isn't love. That love in no way, shape, or form even exists. I do not intend to make it seem as if I have any right saying that it does or does not, I'd just like to carefully lay out what everyone I've spoken to thinks and believes. I have received both short and humorous replies and in-depth replies, as well. The variety of responses will hopefully reveal different paths and thoughts about love that most of us haven't even dreamed of.

"What is your idea of love?"

GB:

A ridiculous bond between people that defies all logic and basically throws common sense out the window, but a basic necessity.

WT:

She reminds me of the first time I discovered masturbation. That's how you know it's true love.

TF:
That's a hard one...I guess it can't be put into words. It's just something wordless.

SL:

I don't know. I kind of think of it as something both infuriating and cool at the same time. I kind of agree with Chris Rock, love is kind of a fine line between itself and hate. At some points you get so mad you want to kill the other person, but then you get the other extreme where you can't imagine living without them. I think deep down everybody has an idea of someone that they fall in love with and at times the person doesn't mesh with that idea so you get super angry with each other because you can't understand why you don't see eye to eye. And I think if you consider love in the long term sense, it's being able to reconcile that idea you have with the person you're with.

VJ:

I'm not sure what you want me to say, like that if I think its real or not? Or that it's like a chemical response in your brain? ...Well I see love as kind of like when you spend time with someone, or realize your attracted to them your body makes like a chemical that makes you happy (maybe? i dont really know) and you remember the feeling it gives you and it makes you want to be with the person more. That's my guess. I don't really know...does that make sense?

PR:

Well that's a bit random. My idea of love? Hmmm. I guess for me it was finding someone who I could see spending the rest of my life with through thick and thin. I mean, I also have a girlfriend. I don't know. It's more then just fucking. [Love] makes me feel great. I remember when I was dating that I always wanted to spend time with the person I loved.

CZ:

Honesty, loyalty, monogamy and, of course, actual love for the person. Its hard to describe love, I think love is a type of insanity. But it's a good type...sounds corny and stupid but you don't need to know its exact science, you just feel it. That's what I think and how I feel about it, at least. Two different type of love too, love you can have for your family and friends and romantic love; for me both are pretty strong. I do think romantic love is a tad more powerful though, you can share feelings and thoughts with a friend but when you have a boyfriend or girlfriend and you engage in something sexual or intimate, it makes things more serious. Sex is when you let down all your walls and barriers and you let another person "see you."

LL:

Feeling of and expression of attraction to another for various reasons. Anything that makes you attracted to another person. I have my love down pretty well, I think. Just that while some may think crushes are not love, I disagree. It's just blind love. Everyone loves another to a certain degree and they want to try and show it in a way appropriate for the type of relationship. Also, it's not some magical force but nor is it a confusion for the need to mate. I think people find it difficult to define in most cases because there's little to compare it to. It's so unique.

GP:

Giving someone the power to hurt you and hoping that they don't. Allowing someone to make you feel both incredibly happy and incredibly sad or angry, someone who is like an emotional steroid for you, someone who makes you feel not only alive but alive as a human. It's something much more complicated than fuzzy hug and kisses and stuff. Love is a complicated state of affairs that is as beautiful as it is harsh. That's my idea of it.

LN:

It's to always speak your feelings, always go for a hug, always cheer, always be there, always be honest, but in the end it only confuses people. It freaks them out, or it makes them indifferent. And then they begin to think if it's all true. And they think too hard. So in the end, they realize that true love doesn't exist, when in reality, it does if you WANT it to be. I realized that not a single time she ever believed or even considered that I would leave all my friends and family behind for her.

The thing that stunned me, and perhaps continues to do so, is that very few people mentioned sex. In no way do I think they all totally exclude sex, but I think there is some different path of thought for many in this particular group that involves a need for their version of love with their sex.

This also raises a potentially hypocritical point: How can you believe so absolutely in love, but brush aside a god or religion on some scientific grounds? I would like to say it's because we all experience those small crushes, those infatuations with someone else. We witness others loves daily, as well. We see kissing and hugging and the smiles of pure joy that light faces when they see someone dear to them. It may not be absolutely scientific but it is something every single person feels.

Personally, what I believe is this:

Love is a thing that must be experienced. It shouldn't be explained away by science or put on a time table. There are different tiers of love, at the very top is a mix of absolute trust and absolute love. That one top tier is the one people seem to strive for because it means complete and total acceptance and trust without any fear of rejection. It's about being more than a just a best friend or just a lover, it's about being a mixture of the two. And sex? Sex is about absolute trust, which, for me, requires absolute love.

0 comments The Choice of Addiction

When people think of addictions, they think of alcohol, tobacco, or drugs. But does anyone think about food, sleep, or other necessities in life? Can one be addicted to food? Most certainly. But what defines the boundary setting apart addiction from life's necessities? To the addicted, the substance used has become a dependency of living, hence the term "substance dependence"; one is dependent upon consuming food and one who is addicted to alcohol is dependent upon its consumption. The defining factor here between these two, however, is choice.

The line between addiction and necessity blurs when one is never presented the option of leaving his addiction. If one smoked for his entire life and never realized he could stop, then why would he ever? At that point, smoking would simply be a small, yet required, part of his every day life. When this happens, when and how does one snap out of it to face the truth?

In the 1999 film, The Matrix, Morpheus offers a choice to the protagonist, Neo, to take two pills with opposing results. In one hand, he held the blue pill, and said, "the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe," while in the other hand was the red pill, where he said, "you stay in Wonderland, and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes." This was a choice of fantasy versus reality. In the film, Neo chose reality and came to know the harsh truth that came with it. Later on, he asked Morpheus if he could ever return; his answer resulting in another question, "Would you ever want to?"

Do we all have such an opportunity to take a red pill? And if we do, would we take it, knowing full well that we may jeopardize the safety of our dream world by doing so? After realizing the harsh truth of reality, one may indeed be tempted by fantasy, wishing he had taken the blue pill instead, the addiction.